First lines....

[j_cheney]

OK, so here are the first lines of my five most recent short stories to go out.

The monsoon season had blown in a week earlier than forecast, and we sailed out of Madras into the wind. (Sea Change)

One cold spring morning, Grandmother Bear lumbered up to Rosethorne's cabin. (The Bear Girl)

The town elders directed us to a small house in a forest clearing. (The Nature of Demons--needs a better first line, I know)

The colonel, Shironne decided, must be one of those clever people, the kind who liked to fix things. (Touching the Dead, scheduled for Baen's Universe this summer)


Well, since I'm exposing myself, why not the novel first line, too?
Shironne stood on the balcony outside her room, wishing the wind could sweep the night's tattered images from her mind. (Dreaming Death, novel that just went out)

Now you know...I actually don't have much else available (I wrote a couple pieces of flash but, really, that doesn't count!)

Comments

[melissajm.livejournal.com]

Well, they count, but you'd be posting a big chunk of that story!

[orogeny.livejournal.com]

Very cool! Thank you!

I think my favorite is Touching the Dead!

[j-cheney.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Maybe that's why it's getting published....

[david-de-beer.livejournal.com]

Touching the dead does have a cool first line; Nature of demons works just fine for me - course, it depends on what happens after this, no?
Fuentes - yes, I see you keep revising that one. Interesting idea, although it's a bit longer than it needs to be maybe. Give me a week and I'll see if I can get you a crit done on that one.

Flash - it doesn't count why? in many ways, writing flash is much harder than writing without a word limit. Couple of mags do pay for them, and well, as well.

Bear Girl -I like, would like to read that one.

Taking a mile - that could be your strongest opening line, there, but not quite just yet. I do like what you're going for there, very evocative, perhaps the most evocative of your openings. Which is why it's the hardest, probably.

Thanks for sharing; your openings really don't need work, never mind what I rambled earlier. All of them make me interested to read more, as it should be!

[j-cheney.livejournal.com]

Well, since I hadn't seen in crits for about 8 or 9 days, I went ahead, did a light re-write and submitted it. Sorry...

(Then I got a crit last night, about an hour after I'd sent it, where the reader said that they basically didn't buy the premise of the story and found it too dystopic. Oh, well, can't please everyone).

I am having trouble making that story shorter.

All those stories are out somewhere....waiting....waiting....